Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
