Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
