who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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