I think my fart just growled at me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
