Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
