On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
