im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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