Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
