I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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