I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
