and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i will never coherently bang her
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
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I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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