i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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