I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
