no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
