oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize