i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
