U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
