There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
