No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
