I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
