Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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