Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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