i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
