No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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