Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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