Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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