It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
