God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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