: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
