how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
