i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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