hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
