We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
