Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize