I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
