Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
