Having a random hookup so left but love u
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
