Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
