Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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