omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
