I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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