so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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