Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dear god my vagina.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
