I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize