This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
it's like iHOP with fire
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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