She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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