you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
