I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
