apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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