This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
sex in a hospital.. check
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
