i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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