her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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