I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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