MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
