I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
