so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
