I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
In America we eat man semen.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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