are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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