I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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