Well apparently he's into motor boating.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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