apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i now understand why vodka
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
