why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
