champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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