That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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