If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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