Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
sex in a hospital.. check
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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